Match Reprt: 2Day vs Somerset West (2)
The Reason for the 'Great' rise in form?
Now I'm not normally one to encourage the Greatest but I do commend him for his drastic change in Nadoes form. I wonder, though, where this change came from. Most of you may have an idea of where I'm going with this, given his scathing attack on me but a few minutes ago, but instead I'm simply going to congratulate him on clinically proving his experiment. A couple of weeks ago he quoted Gary Kirsten saying sex before cricket would lead to better results.
Tick.
I would, however, just like to point out to you, Tge Greatest, that Gary didn't actually mean for you to take part in this experiment in the kitchen...
TFC explained
Thus, the introduction of NadoeStats. One of the functions of NadoeStats is to put forward a uniform calculation of the TFC and eliminate all emotion in the process. And so far, it has been a resounding success.
Let me expalin a little, all factors are considered in this statistical model. From the obvious, like bowling figures, runs scored, catches taken, catches dropped, run-out and sixes hit, to the obscure, like booziness, punctuality, general vibe of the day, contribution to sledging and so on.
The model is set up to give each of the players a daily score oftheir contribution to the day. Thus the TFC and Man of the Match can be calculated statistically, eliminating all bias.
A Score of 100% means you contributed in no way to the days events and ill probably result in TFC. While conversely,with regards to the MOM, the score you obtain is the overall percentage of the 'work' you achieved. Thus the higher the percentage, the more you did. a perfect score of 100% means you scored all the runs and took all the wickets. Get where this is going?
Statistically speaking, if everyone contributed in the same proportions, each player would recieve a score of 90.91% (1 - 100%/11) for TFC and 9.09%(100%/11) for MOM
And an important point to note, a score of over 100% for TFC is in fact possible. How you may ask? THis just means that the player has actually DETRACTED from the performance of the team. In other words it would have been better if he had stayed home. Exaples of this last year were: 101.2% Kenny, when he dropped 3 catches and scored a duck and Murray King (too many to list).
So I hope this clears it all up a bit.
Match Report: Somerset West CC Day1
Team was: Great Dayne, Fadel, Waz Butler, Murray King, Sibu Ntini, Nic Pullen, Dave Bones, Charley Mortimer, Tom Vaughan, Jimmy Brown and Ginny.
We were put into bat by them and started reasonably solidly with the an opening partnership of 40 before the Great Dayne was ridiculously C&B for 15. The bowler managed to complete the catch without the ball touching his hands!! He collapsed in a heap after the ball had been smashed into his stomach! Fadel made a solid 29 before being caught. Then Waz (44) and Murray(21) put together a good partnership before Murray succumbed to 2nd slip. THis broughtthe hands down favourite for the TFC for the season Sibu to the crease, who true to form, only managed 2 balls before being caught in the slips. Nic Pullen came and went, but not before dispatching the first ball after tea into the trees! this left us at 130/6
In stepped Bones and with a flurry of the willow, he managed to smash 51 at better than a run a ball. He as ably assisted by thomas vaughan who made a career best 29 and silenced many of his pre-season critics. There wer a few other runs picked off here and there, and a good 6 by ginny to end things off, all totaled up to an impressive 210 all out.
The defense of the total started out in fine fashion, with Charlie picking up an early stick. Their batting effort never really got going and they lost wickets at constant intervals, and at the end of play had just managed to avoid the follow on and are 120/9 over night. But I must mention that undoubtedly the most entertaining moment of the match and maybe even the season, was produced by Dave Bones. Jimmy B had just had a blatant caught behind turned down by the player umpire, and tempers were flaring. The situation had just reached boiling point, when Bones came on. He proceded to threaten the batsman and told him to expect 3 bouncers in a row. (not an easy feat for a leg spinner). The first whistled past the batsmans ears, and the second struck the fucker in the back of the head! Pandemonium broke out! 10 fielders and the bowler broke out into hysterical laughter and applause as the bewildered Batter wobbled aroung and had to call on medical assistance.
It was top stuff and was thoroughly enjoyed by all, except the batter.
Day 2 resumes at 9am on Sat 24 Oct. With WPCC in the driving seat.
Leading the race for the awards:
MOM - Dave Bones
TFC - Sibu Toto
Im Beached As Bro...
Beached As I: the Seagul
Beached As II: The Snail
Beached As III: The Kid Whale
Stick a fork in me, im done.
thoughts for the season
'Have sex to play better'
New Delhi - India's cricketers at the Champions Trophy in South Africa are being encouraged by their coach to have sex to boost their on-field performance, a newspaper reported on Wednesday.The benefits of sex feature prominently in a secret document circulated among players by coach Gary Kirsten and mental conditioning expert Paddy Upton, the Hindustan Times said in a front-page report.
It came as India take on arch-rivals Pakistan in their first Champions Trophy match in Centurion on Saturday.
The large-selling broadsheet, which claimed to have a copy of the document, said the relevant chapter was headlined "Does sex increase performance?".
"Yes it does, so go ahead and indulge," the document said, before detailing the benefits of a good sex life and even suggesting "going solo" if no partners were available.
"From a physiological perspective, having sex increases testosterone levels, which cause an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness," the document said.
"Conversely, not having sex for a period of a few months causes a significant drop in testosterone levels in both males and females, with the corresponding passiveness and decrease in aggression."
The document quotes Tim Noakes, a professor and sports scientist at the University of Cape Town, Kirsten's home town, as saying that "sex was not a problem, but being up till 02:00, probably having a few drinks at a bar while trying to pick someone up, on the eve of a game, almost always was."
The document helpfully suggests a solution.
"If you want sex but do not have someone to share it with, one option is to go solo whilst imagining you have a partner, or a few partners, who are as beautiful as you wish to imagine," the document said.
"No pillow talk and no hugging required. Just roll over and go to sleep."
Enforced celibacy may also affect performance, the advice said.
"You may experience that your mind spends more time focusing on the fire in your groin than on good sport practice, preparation and sleep," the document said.
The document also stresses the importance of being aggressive on the field from the start, self-improvement and healthy eatingNadoeStats
Who's throwing stones?
Was that not a cover giving you carte blanche Vaughan? Your attempts to divert the attention off you leave you reeking like a politician. Is this a sign of things to come? What exactly are you taking cover from anyway? Could it be that the 'Friendly W' has approached you in attempts to have you take over from Wattie? Has the Benjamin Button syndrome taken over your cricketing 'ability' now too? Do you fear Under 15C is more your weight category? Or for that matter should it be Under 18 and (38) double D? Or is it just the fact that you're leading the polls on who will be TFC this season...
I don't know - all I'm saying is that it would appear, to me, that you're hiding something fairly large and I do hope it'll be revealed soon so we can all move on. This is, after all, supposed to be a website for the wpcc nadoes 3rds vibe and not a personal dig at the uh uh, who without - the VC would just be a headless chicken.
And for the record - chef isn't into jocks...
Fastest Bird

It is found to dwell in the mountainous regions of Asia and southern Siberia.This species is migratory, wintering south to Australia. It is a rare vagrant in western Europe, but has been recorded as far west as Norway, Sweden and Great Britain. (wikipedia)
The reason I am telling you this is because it seems there is a new bird on the block that is apparently faster. The Long Haired Clare or Kenny's Clare as it is affectionately known has made quite a stir since coming onto the scene a few short months ago.
It is rumoured to have completed the 2oceans half marathon in a phenomenal time of 1:28, thus making it the fastest bird known to man. It has been spotted in and around the oblivion area. This particular species is drawn to loud singing drunkenness and can understand, and speak in the most indistinguishable of dialects.
It also allegedly has magical powers that ensnare others into changing. We shall see..
Are we happy???
Gents, I would like to put out a challenge to all, to think of/ invent/steal some new songs for the coming year. The sounds of people being 'raised up' and 'being happy' are great and an institution, but there is no doubt that a few new, well-thought-out tunes would be welcome. SO the challenge is out there- the best new song will get either a case of beer or a night with the chef of oblivion!! the choice is yours!!
Vaughan
Selection criteria explained
As a member of the selection committee (this could change though should a new captain be elected- I've heard Ginny and Sibu's name bandied about??), I sit with a few others and decide upon the teams for the weekend. When it comes to the time to select the WN3's it is never an easy task. Sometimes we have numbers streaming in to play, whilst other times, the like of a tall, hairy all rounder, and a goldfish looking left hander have been known to have other arrangements with better halves. one also has to cater for the wlakabout tendencies of a nuggety batsman who jumps and jives all over the country, as well as the tendency for our rocket to pick up a malfunction deeming him unavailable. One also needs to bear in mind that a few players may be pissed from the night before and bring along a few rowdy mates to shout/hoot from their cars. variables there are a plenty. All in all one tries to reward loyalty as well as form, and this is how it will stay this year.
Then there are a few other things that need to be born in mind. Does this person serve the best interests of the team in the field? Does their disability hinder them from peak-performance? is there liking for culinary delights removing their focus from the game? Do they attempt to wrestle power away from the true VC, and over do their role as the Uh-uh? Does their desire for one of our 1st team players's sister cause friction within the club?
All of these questions will weigh on the minds of the selectors this year. But one thing is for sure, no stone will be left unturned to top this league!! And thanks Great for startin this site, your loyalty will be noted come selection meeting time, unlike others who have chosen only to throw stones!!
comment on Dayne's post!!!
Quick as a flash I mentioned that if having been with the guru was a criteria for abstinence, I'd have trouble finding any young doll in CT!!
Guru: The Enigma

It was over one of my usual coffees at Vida, where I go to do all my thinking, that I happened to shoot a glance at the headlines of the morning’s
Why was this? So I did some digging. My search took me to the Rondebosch Library. I poured over ancient texts and inscriptions written centuries ago by men far wiser than I. My search yielded no valuable information. I packed up my stuff, angry and frustrated that I was no closer to understanding the Enigma that is the Guru. I was walking out past the rows of books when a delightful looking 1st year dropped the pile of books she was carrying. Being the Gentleman that I am, I offered to help. I noticed the title of the first book, “Men: What am I doing wrong?”
Hectique I thought as I managed a slight smile. She was now embarrassed, realizing I had read the title and she blushed. “All cuz of the damn GURU!” she hissed in a top class Joburg accent (Baxter I though, maybe bi-curios). I froze, my mind racing, “Excuse me miss, did you just say the Guru is responsible for your predicament?” I uttered, now wild with apprehension. “Well, um, you see, we were both really drunk…I don’t usually do things like that…I mean he was the Guru after all, he had me at hello.” SWEET-JESUS-H-CHRIST, Jackpot!!!
I had a real life Guru conquest in my very hands! The questions flooded into my head!! What line got you? Is he really as good as he claims he is? Does he pay for your taxi home afterwards? But I knew there was only 1 question I needed to ask… What is so special about the Guru?
She looked at me incredulously, as if it were obvious. After what felt like a full minute (I swear I could hear the hamster wheel squeaking) she mustered up a response. “Its just his vibe. He whispers nice things to you, makes you feel special, then he acts like he’s not interested, it drove me wild!!! I wanted him, but was angry at him at the same time for flirting with other girls. I was so confused, then he pounced and it was all over, and before I knew it, I was in a taxi on the way home (he paid, I checked).
So there it is folks. Smoke and mirrors is how he operates. Be mean and keep em keen and You want what you cant have are maxim's he lives by. This is the recipe that has brought this man so much success on the Dance floors of Tiger Tiger and Pulse.
But alas, the legend has died because he has been taken from us far before his time, and before we were ready to let him go.
It has in deed died, or has it…
Nadoes CC Amped for 09/10 season
Many Questions remain unanswered, who will be TFC? Who will be players player? SO much to play for and so few places available. Lets see what the season brings...
Nadoes CC Website Underway
Watch this space